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Death Note by bebe30001

Deathnote by DN-Obssesser

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Submitted on
December 3, 2010
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9.8 KB


994 (1 today)
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Near: *Plays with action figures*
Mello: *Goes in the room*
Matt: *Playing on his DS on the sofa*
Mello: *gets closer to Matt* Ya know, I just had the best idea known to mankind just now.
Matt: *looks up frowning* What? Will I like it?
Mello: Maybe, if you like torturing Near.
Matt: *little interested* ok, what is it?
Mello: What if... Near got super mad drunk?
Matt: *gets excited* keep going.
Mello: I was planning on putting vodka in his drink at lunch... *grin* he'll get so stoned! Ahaha.
Matt: *laughs at the vision of Near drunk* and where are you going to get Vodka?
Mello: Matty Matty, you underestimate me so. *smirk*
Mello: I have one stashed somewhere in my room, just in case chocolate doesn't get me high.
Matt: *rolls his eyes* huh, you high? alright then, shall I sneak it in his drink, or shall you?
Mello: You're gonna have to be a decoy. Distract him or something.
Matt: *thinks* I can do that.
Mello: I'll go get it then, and... don't distract him too much, then he'll just get suspicious.

(Scene change!)

Matt: *sitting in the cafeteria on Near's table*
Mello: Got it... *goes back to cafeteria*
Near: ._.? Hello Matt.
Near: This is a... surprise. You usually don't sit next to me at lunch.
Matt: Hey Near, well I wondered do you know how to pass this level? *shows him his DS*
Near: I don't play video games, how would I know?
Matt: I thought you knew everything.
Mello: *sneaks behind Near and puts vodka in his milk*
Matt: Well it's ok if you don't.
Near: I know some things, but I have my limits.
Mello: *snickers and backs away*
Matt: *hides his snigger* Well ok then, see ya. *leaves*
Mello: Damn, I shoulda bought a camera... anyways, he'll get drunk with everyone watching here. *grin*
Near: V_V *drinks whole milk*
Matt: *goes and sits by Mello*
Near: ..... *hiccups*.... hmm.
Matt: *starts sniggering*
Mello: *tries not to laugh*...
Near: I feel... strange... *stands up wobbly*
Matt: *laughs* this is a moment to remember.
Linda: *comes in*
Random people: What's wrong with him? o.o he looks weird.
Matt: He's always weird.
Linda: But.... he's weirder than usual... he even looks kinda... drunk? o_O
Mello: *snickers* maybe...
Matt: *fakes thinking* mmmm he could be.
Linda: ........
Linda: *tugs Mello's shirt* WHAT.DID U DO.
Matt: *laughs*
Mello: WTF, Linda let go of me!!
Linda: I know you did something!! You always do bad things to Near!
Mello: So what if I did! It's none of your beeswax!
Matt: *cornered and plays with his DS ignoring her*
Linda: If you did something to Near, I'll do bad things to YOU Mello!
Mello: Are you threatening me?!
Linda: YES, I am. .... now look at him! He's a mess!
Matt: *cant help it and laughs loud*
Near: *hicup* ~Lalalalala...lalala...~..... *falls down*
Matt: *laughing so hard he falls off the bench laughing*
Mello: Hmm... I think I put a lil' too much... now let go of me!!
Linda: *lets go reluctantly*....
Matt: *struggling to breathe cuz he's laughing too much* w..well done...Mello!
Mello: Anyone coulda done it *smirk*...
Matt: *sniggering* y-yeah....I wonder who.
Near: *clings to Mello* Hey Mello, you *hicup* wanna hear a secret?
Mello: *quirks brow*... Umm, yeah, sure.
Matt: *stands up* I do!
Mello: >.>
Near: I... fap at night. *laughs drunkenly*
Matt: *stares* ok.....
Mello: Ok EWWIE LET GO! *tries to get Near off*
Matt: *falls laughing again*
Linda: OAO Neeear!!! What have they done to you?! *clings to Near*
Near: Get *hicup* off me you *hicup* ugly bitch.
Linda: OAO...... *runs away crying*
Mello: Wow, good job Near, you just insulted the ONLY girl in here who actually liked you.
Matt: *stares* oh my...
Near: I don't *hicup* fuckin' care....
Matt: Mello I think we've killed Near.
Mello: >_> *sigh* Why do I actually feel bad for this kid?
Matt: Cuz you now have a soft spot for him?
Near: *falls down* hahahahha... ahahah.... poop. ahahahah...
Matt: Oh god..
Mello: ....not even close.
Matt: Maybe you do.
Near: Melloooo~..... *stands up*........ ..... *kisses Mello*
Mello: O_____________e
Mello: OMFG FKDHJBFIEFB!! *pushes him away*
Matt: WOW!
Matt: Interesting.....
Near: *hicup* heheh... *falls down again*
Mello: Oh my god... oh my god!! *touches own lips in disgust* ....ugh... *waves hand dismissively* Matt, pick him up.
Matt: *bursts out laugh pointing at mello* ahhahahaahhah you got kissed by Near!!! You got kissed by Near!!!
Random people: *murmers*
Mello: *blushes a little and glares* IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY, PICK THIS MISERABLE DRUKEN SHIT UP!!
Matt: *wont stop laughing* Ohh I wish I had a camera. Wait my DS does *takes pictures*
Mello: Matt quit it! This isn't funny anymore! Pick him up!!
Matt: Alright alright you take his legs *takes his hands*
Near: ~Mello is mah bitch, Mello is mah biiitch~
Mello: *takes his legs*
Matt: *sniggers* Ohh wow.
Mello: Goddamn it.... MOVE DAMN YOU MOVE!! Let's take him to his room.
Matt: I'm moving I'm moving!

*Several seconds later*

Matt: He's actually heavy.
Mello: This place is too white.
Matt: Ohh it's not normal to like only one color.
Mello: ....
Mello: *drops Near in his bed*
Matt: So now what?
Near: Hmmm... Mellooo.. you're a lil' fast... we didn't even go on our first date HAHAHAHA... HAHAHA *hicup*
Matt: Wanna give him a kiss goodbye Mello?
Mello: Fuck you.
Matt: I hope you don't.
Mello: And we're not leaving, Roger would kill me if he saw Near in this condition...
Matt: So we're going to stay? You wanna stay in Near's room?
Mello:*rolls eyes* Well what choice do I have? I didn't think he was gonna get this drunk.
Matt: Alright, I'll stay with you then. *sits down looking at photos laughing*
Mello: *glare*
Matt: Hey look I got one of the kiss!!
Near: Melloooo~..... *bites lower lip*..... I know I've never told you this but... *hicup*.... you're really hot ahahhaha...hahahahha HAHAHAHAHHAH *laughs out loud*
Mello: ....I really don't know how to respond to that.
Matt: The picture is the truth see *shows him the kiss pic* look at your face haha!
Mello: UGH *throws the DS towards the wall making it fall to pieces*
Matt: That was cruel!!!
Mello: NO, you're cruel for taking those photos.
Matt: You shouldn't have drugged him in the first place!!!!
Near: *pushes Mello to the bed* *hicup*
Matt: awwww sweet love~
Mello: Well excuse me for wanting to have a lil' fun in this shitty orphanage! Eww Near get off me!!
Matt: He loves you let him be!
Near: *shakes head* Nope, you're staying. *holds Mello's wrists*
Mello: Matt you're not fucking helping!! Get him off me!!
Matt: *smiles* I think it's cute, and no I don't think so, you killed my DS.
Mello: =____= I'll buy you a new one.
Near: *kisses Mello's neck*
Matt: And the new wii?
Mello:*cringes* YES YES whatever you want just get him off me!!
Matt: What about the xbox?
Mello: YES!! I said whatever!!
Matt: And I want alll your chocolate!
Near: *touches Mello's stomach*
Mello: *groans in frustration*.... FINE!!
Matt: Ok then *tries to pull Near off but cant* he's hanging on for dear life.
Mello: Just...  get him off me, I don't like this.
Matt: I cant he won't budge.
Mello: Well try harder!!
Matt: We need to put something in your place your size, another human or something.....
Near: Matt *hicup* wait your turn, it's Mello's turn~
Matt: Matt?? Me my turn???!!
Near: Uhuh~ *hicup*..... after Mello's turn, I'll fuck you~ *grins all creepy*
Matt: Ohhh Christ *grabs him and tries to pull him off Mello* Damn it I can't.
Near: It's not rape if it's willing~ *hicup*
Mello: Yeah well... I'm far away from willing!!
Matt: *grumbles* Can't believe I'm doing this... *goes in between them so he's lost grip on Mello* go go go now!!
Mello: *stares in surprise*.....You're gonna let him do stuff to you?
Near: Maaatt... *hicup* you're too impatient.
Mello: .... That weird angel/demon guilt thing is in my head now, so damn annoying.
Matt: What??? what are talking about!
Mello: Nothing! Umm... I don't know what to do!! I wouldn't let you get raped and... I sure don't wanna get some albino lovin'...*cringes again*
Matt: So then help me I helped you!!!
Near: *stops*
Near: ..... ?.... Matt, why am I on top of you?
Matt: *gets off the bed out of his arms* Ewww!
Mello: Hallelujah.... he's sobered up.
Matt: You're weird Near!!
Near: ....
Near: You didn't answer my question, why was I on top of you?
Matt: Weirder than you think!
Matt: You went all rapist mode!!!
Near: ._.
Near: I don't recall ever wanting to do that with you.
Matt: It's true!
Mello: >_> *sigh* I put vodka in your milk, there.
Near: ....
Near: So, I was heavily intoxicated, thanks to you?
Mello: Guilty as charged.
Matt: *nod*

*Awkward moment*....

Mello: I'm gonna go now.... *leaves*
Near: ._.?
Matt: Me too! *leaves*
Near: .....
Near: Hmm *slight smile* I knew they would fall for it.
RP between me and :icontiny-french-vampire: XD she was sooo good at being Matt, I'mma jealous!! >.<

Mello/Near/Random people/Linda: Me!~

Matt: :icontiny-french-vampire:

Editing: It was :icontiny-french-vampire: at first but she forgot to save it! o.e.... so... second time was me XD

Drunk Near is funny XDDD

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darkness-calls-to-me Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2014
That was fuckin briliant my friend! Perfect!
Supermegakittykat Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That was fucking HILARIOUS!!! XDD
YaoiCrazy Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Thanks~ ^.^
cursed-fragilemaide Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2011
Oh my god that was waaaaaaay to funny!!!!! XD
YaoiCrazy Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
Thanks ^.^
cursed-fragilemaide Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2011
:3 Your welcome it was some seriously funny shit XD
YaoiCrazy Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
Heh, thanks again :]
cursed-fragilemaide Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2011
no problem :3
Egie29 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2011  Student Photographer
i can stop laughing with this!!!!!!
YaoiCrazy Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
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