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Literature Text
Near: *Plays with action figures*
Mello: *Goes in the room*
Matt: *Playing on his DS on the sofa*
Mello: *gets closer to Matt* Ya know, I just had the best idea known to mankind just now.
Matt: *looks up frowning* What? Will I like it?
Mello: Maybe, if you like torturing Near.
Matt: *little interested* ok, what is it?
Mello: What if... Near got super mad drunk?
Matt: *gets excited* keep going.
Mello: I was planning on putting vodka in his drink at lunch... *grin* he'll get so stoned! Ahaha.
Matt: *laughs at the vision of Near drunk* and where are you going to get Vodka?
Mello: Matty Matty, you underestimate me so. *smirk*
Mello: I have one stashed somewhere in my room, just in case chocolate doesn't get me high.
Matt: *rolls his eyes* huh, you high? alright then, shall I sneak it in his drink, or shall you?
Mello: You're gonna have to be a decoy. Distract him or something.
Matt: *thinks* I can do that.
Mello: I'll go get it then, and... don't distract him too much, then he'll just get suspicious.
(Scene change!)
Matt: *sitting in the cafeteria on Near's table*
Mello: Got it... *goes back to cafeteria*
Near: ._.? Hello Matt.
Near: This is a... surprise. You usually don't sit next to me at lunch.
Matt: Hey Near, well I wondered do you know how to pass this level? *shows him his DS*
Near: I don't play video games, how would I know?
Matt: I thought you knew everything.
Mello: *sneaks behind Near and puts vodka in his milk*
Matt: Well it's ok if you don't.
Near: I know some things, but I have my limits.
Mello: *snickers and backs away*
Matt: *hides his snigger* Well ok then, see ya. *leaves*
Mello: Damn, I shoulda bought a camera... anyways, he'll get drunk with everyone watching here. *grin*
Near: V_V *drinks whole milk*
Matt: *goes and sits by Mello*
Near: ..... *hiccups*.... hmm.
Matt: *starts sniggering*
Mello: *tries not to laugh*...
Near: I feel... strange... *stands up wobbly*
Matt: *laughs* this is a moment to remember.
Linda: *comes in*
Random people: What's wrong with him? o.o he looks weird.
Matt: He's always weird.
Linda: But.... he's weirder than usual... he even looks kinda... drunk? o_O
Mello: *snickers* maybe...
Matt: *fakes thinking* mmmm he could be.
Linda: ........
Linda: *tugs Mello's shirt* WHAT.DID U DO.
Matt: *laughs*
Mello: WTF, Linda let go of me!!
Linda: I know you did something!! You always do bad things to Near!
Mello: So what if I did! It's none of your beeswax!
Matt: *cornered and plays with his DS ignoring her*
Linda: If you did something to Near, I'll do bad things to YOU Mello!
Mello: Are you threatening me?!
Linda: YES, I am. .... now look at him! He's a mess!
Matt: *cant help it and laughs loud*
Near: *hicup* ~Lalalalala...lalala...~..... *falls down*
Matt: *laughing so hard he falls off the bench laughing*
Mello: Hmm... I think I put a lil' too much... now let go of me!!
Linda: *lets go reluctantly*....
Matt: *struggling to breathe cuz he's laughing too much* w..well done...Mello!
Mello: Anyone coulda done it *smirk*...
Matt: *sniggering* y-yeah....I wonder who.
Near: *clings to Mello* Hey Mello, you *hicup* wanna hear a secret?
Mello: *quirks brow*... Umm, yeah, sure.
Matt: *stands up* I do!
Mello: >.>
Near: I... fap at night. *laughs drunkenly*
Matt: *stares* ok.....
Mello: Ok EWWIE LET GO! *tries to get Near off*
Matt: *falls laughing again*
Linda: OAO Neeear!!! What have they done to you?! *clings to Near*
Near: Get *hicup* off me you *hicup* ugly bitch.
Linda: OAO...... *runs away crying*
Mello: Wow, good job Near, you just insulted the ONLY girl in here who actually liked you.
Matt: *stares* oh my...
Near: I don't *hicup* fuckin' care....
Matt: Mello I think we've killed Near.
Mello: >_> *sigh* Why do I actually feel bad for this kid?
Matt: Cuz you now have a soft spot for him?
Near: *falls down* hahahahha... ahahah.... poop. ahahahah...
Matt: Oh god..
Mello: ....not even close.
Matt: Maybe you do.
Near: Melloooo~..... *stands up*........ ..... *kisses Mello*
Mello: O_____________e
Mello: OMFG FKDHJBFIEFB!! *pushes him away*
Matt: WOW!
Matt: Interesting.....
Near: *hicup* heheh... *falls down again*
Mello: Oh my god... oh my god!! *touches own lips in disgust* ....ugh... *waves hand dismissively* Matt, pick him up.
Matt: *bursts out laugh pointing at mello* ahhahahaahhah you got kissed by Near!!! You got kissed by Near!!!
Random people: *murmers*
Mello: *blushes a little and glares* IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY, PICK THIS MISERABLE DRUKEN SHIT UP!!
Matt: *wont stop laughing* Ohh I wish I had a camera. Wait my DS does *takes pictures*
Mello: Matt quit it! This isn't funny anymore! Pick him up!!
Matt: Alright alright you take his legs *takes his hands*
Near: ~Mello is mah bitch, Mello is mah biiitch~
Mello: *takes his legs*
Matt: *sniggers* Ohh wow.
Mello: Goddamn it.... MOVE DAMN YOU MOVE!! Let's take him to his room.
Matt: I'm moving I'm moving!
*Several seconds later*
Matt: He's actually heavy.
Mello: This place is too white.
Matt: Ohh it's not normal to like only one color.
Mello: ....
Mello: *drops Near in his bed*
Matt: So now what?
Near: Hmmm... Mellooo.. you're a lil' fast... we didn't even go on our first date HAHAHAHA... HAHAHA *hicup*
Matt: Wanna give him a kiss goodbye Mello?
Mello: Fuck you.
Matt: I hope you don't.
Mello: And we're not leaving, Roger would kill me if he saw Near in this condition...
Matt: So we're going to stay? You wanna stay in Near's room?
Mello:*rolls eyes* Well what choice do I have? I didn't think he was gonna get this drunk.
Matt: Alright, I'll stay with you then. *sits down looking at photos laughing*
Mello: *glare*
Matt: Hey look I got one of the kiss!!
Near: Melloooo~..... *bites lower lip*..... I know I've never told you this but... *hicup*.... you're really hot ahahhaha...hahahahha HAHAHAHAHHAH *laughs out loud*
Mello: ....I really don't know how to respond to that.
Matt: The picture is the truth see *shows him the kiss pic* look at your face haha!
Mello: UGH *throws the DS towards the wall making it fall to pieces*
Matt: That was cruel!!!
Mello: NO, you're cruel for taking those photos.
Matt: You shouldn't have drugged him in the first place!!!!
Near: *pushes Mello to the bed* *hicup*
Matt: awwww sweet love~
Mello: Well excuse me for wanting to have a lil' fun in this shitty orphanage! Eww Near get off me!!
Matt: He loves you let him be!
Near: *shakes head* Nope, you're staying. *holds Mello's wrists*
Mello: Matt you're not fucking helping!! Get him off me!!
Matt: *smiles* I think it's cute, and no I don't think so, you killed my DS.
Mello: =____= I'll buy you a new one.
Near: *kisses Mello's neck*
Matt: And the new wii?
Mello:*cringes* YES YES whatever you want just get him off me!!
Matt: What about the xbox?
Mello: YES!! I said whatever!!
Matt: And I want alll your chocolate!
Near: *touches Mello's stomach*
Mello: *groans in frustration*.... FINE!!
Matt: Ok then *tries to pull Near off but cant* he's hanging on for dear life.
Mello: Just... get him off me, I don't like this.
Matt: I cant he won't budge.
Mello: Well try harder!!
Matt: We need to put something in your place your size, another human or something.....
Near: Matt *hicup* wait your turn, it's Mello's turn~
Matt: Matt?? Me my turn???!!
Near: Uhuh~ *hicup*..... after Mello's turn, I'll fuck you~ *grins all creepy*
Mello: O_O MATT HE'S CREEPING ME OUT GET HIM OFF ME!!!
Matt: Ohhh Christ *grabs him and tries to pull him off Mello* Damn it I can't.
Mello: Ok, so NOW WHAT, I'M GONNA LET HIM RAPE MEH?!
Near: It's not rape if it's willing~ *hicup*
Mello: Yeah well... I'm far away from willing!!
Matt: *grumbles* Can't believe I'm doing this... *goes in between them so he's lost grip on Mello* go go go now!!
Mello: *stares in surprise*.....You're gonna let him do stuff to you?
Near: Maaatt... *hicup* you're too impatient.
Mello: .... That weird angel/demon guilt thing is in my head now, so damn annoying.
Matt: What??? what are talking about!
Mello: Nothing! Umm... I don't know what to do!! I wouldn't let you get raped and... I sure don't wanna get some albino lovin'...*cringes again*
Matt: So then help me I helped you!!!
Near: *stops*
Near: ..... ?.... Matt, why am I on top of you?
Matt: *gets off the bed out of his arms* Ewww!
Mello: Hallelujah.... he's sobered up.
Matt: You're weird Near!!
Near: ....
Near: You didn't answer my question, why was I on top of you?
Matt: Weirder than you think!
Matt: You went all rapist mode!!!
Near: ._.
Near: I don't recall ever wanting to do that with you.
Matt: It's true!
Mello: >_> *sigh* I put vodka in your milk, there.
Near: ....
Near: So, I was heavily intoxicated, thanks to you?
Mello: Guilty as charged.
Matt: *nod*
*Awkward moment*....
Mello: I'm gonna go now.... *leaves*
Near: ._.?
Matt: Me too! *leaves*
Near: .....
Near: Hmm *slight smile* I knew they would fall for it.
Mello: *Goes in the room*
Matt: *Playing on his DS on the sofa*
Mello: *gets closer to Matt* Ya know, I just had the best idea known to mankind just now.
Matt: *looks up frowning* What? Will I like it?
Mello: Maybe, if you like torturing Near.
Matt: *little interested* ok, what is it?
Mello: What if... Near got super mad drunk?
Matt: *gets excited* keep going.
Mello: I was planning on putting vodka in his drink at lunch... *grin* he'll get so stoned! Ahaha.
Matt: *laughs at the vision of Near drunk* and where are you going to get Vodka?
Mello: Matty Matty, you underestimate me so. *smirk*
Mello: I have one stashed somewhere in my room, just in case chocolate doesn't get me high.
Matt: *rolls his eyes* huh, you high? alright then, shall I sneak it in his drink, or shall you?
Mello: You're gonna have to be a decoy. Distract him or something.
Matt: *thinks* I can do that.
Mello: I'll go get it then, and... don't distract him too much, then he'll just get suspicious.
(Scene change!)
Matt: *sitting in the cafeteria on Near's table*
Mello: Got it... *goes back to cafeteria*
Near: ._.? Hello Matt.
Near: This is a... surprise. You usually don't sit next to me at lunch.
Matt: Hey Near, well I wondered do you know how to pass this level? *shows him his DS*
Near: I don't play video games, how would I know?
Matt: I thought you knew everything.
Mello: *sneaks behind Near and puts vodka in his milk*
Matt: Well it's ok if you don't.
Near: I know some things, but I have my limits.
Mello: *snickers and backs away*
Matt: *hides his snigger* Well ok then, see ya. *leaves*
Mello: Damn, I shoulda bought a camera... anyways, he'll get drunk with everyone watching here. *grin*
Near: V_V *drinks whole milk*
Matt: *goes and sits by Mello*
Near: ..... *hiccups*.... hmm.
Matt: *starts sniggering*
Mello: *tries not to laugh*...
Near: I feel... strange... *stands up wobbly*
Matt: *laughs* this is a moment to remember.
Linda: *comes in*
Random people: What's wrong with him? o.o he looks weird.
Matt: He's always weird.
Linda: But.... he's weirder than usual... he even looks kinda... drunk? o_O
Mello: *snickers* maybe...
Matt: *fakes thinking* mmmm he could be.
Linda: ........
Linda: *tugs Mello's shirt* WHAT.DID U DO.
Matt: *laughs*
Mello: WTF, Linda let go of me!!
Linda: I know you did something!! You always do bad things to Near!
Mello: So what if I did! It's none of your beeswax!
Matt: *cornered and plays with his DS ignoring her*
Linda: If you did something to Near, I'll do bad things to YOU Mello!
Mello: Are you threatening me?!
Linda: YES, I am. .... now look at him! He's a mess!
Matt: *cant help it and laughs loud*
Near: *hicup* ~Lalalalala...lalala...~..... *falls down*
Matt: *laughing so hard he falls off the bench laughing*
Mello: Hmm... I think I put a lil' too much... now let go of me!!
Linda: *lets go reluctantly*....
Matt: *struggling to breathe cuz he's laughing too much* w..well done...Mello!
Mello: Anyone coulda done it *smirk*...
Matt: *sniggering* y-yeah....I wonder who.
Near: *clings to Mello* Hey Mello, you *hicup* wanna hear a secret?
Mello: *quirks brow*... Umm, yeah, sure.
Matt: *stands up* I do!
Mello: >.>
Near: I... fap at night. *laughs drunkenly*
Matt: *stares* ok.....
Mello: Ok EWWIE LET GO! *tries to get Near off*
Matt: *falls laughing again*
Linda: OAO Neeear!!! What have they done to you?! *clings to Near*
Near: Get *hicup* off me you *hicup* ugly bitch.
Linda: OAO...... *runs away crying*
Mello: Wow, good job Near, you just insulted the ONLY girl in here who actually liked you.
Matt: *stares* oh my...
Near: I don't *hicup* fuckin' care....
Matt: Mello I think we've killed Near.
Mello: >_> *sigh* Why do I actually feel bad for this kid?
Matt: Cuz you now have a soft spot for him?
Near: *falls down* hahahahha... ahahah.... poop. ahahahah...
Matt: Oh god..
Mello: ....not even close.
Matt: Maybe you do.
Near: Melloooo~..... *stands up*........ ..... *kisses Mello*
Mello: O_____________e
Mello: OMFG FKDHJBFIEFB!! *pushes him away*
Matt: WOW!
Matt: Interesting.....
Near: *hicup* heheh... *falls down again*
Mello: Oh my god... oh my god!! *touches own lips in disgust* ....ugh... *waves hand dismissively* Matt, pick him up.
Matt: *bursts out laugh pointing at mello* ahhahahaahhah you got kissed by Near!!! You got kissed by Near!!!
Random people: *murmers*
Mello: *blushes a little and glares* IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY, PICK THIS MISERABLE DRUKEN SHIT UP!!
Matt: *wont stop laughing* Ohh I wish I had a camera. Wait my DS does *takes pictures*
Mello: Matt quit it! This isn't funny anymore! Pick him up!!
Matt: Alright alright you take his legs *takes his hands*
Near: ~Mello is mah bitch, Mello is mah biiitch~
Mello: *takes his legs*
Matt: *sniggers* Ohh wow.
Mello: Goddamn it.... MOVE DAMN YOU MOVE!! Let's take him to his room.
Matt: I'm moving I'm moving!
*Several seconds later*
Matt: He's actually heavy.
Mello: This place is too white.
Matt: Ohh it's not normal to like only one color.
Mello: ....
Mello: *drops Near in his bed*
Matt: So now what?
Near: Hmmm... Mellooo.. you're a lil' fast... we didn't even go on our first date HAHAHAHA... HAHAHA *hicup*
Matt: Wanna give him a kiss goodbye Mello?
Mello: Fuck you.
Matt: I hope you don't.
Mello: And we're not leaving, Roger would kill me if he saw Near in this condition...
Matt: So we're going to stay? You wanna stay in Near's room?
Mello:*rolls eyes* Well what choice do I have? I didn't think he was gonna get this drunk.
Matt: Alright, I'll stay with you then. *sits down looking at photos laughing*
Mello: *glare*
Matt: Hey look I got one of the kiss!!
Near: Melloooo~..... *bites lower lip*..... I know I've never told you this but... *hicup*.... you're really hot ahahhaha...hahahahha HAHAHAHAHHAH *laughs out loud*
Mello: ....I really don't know how to respond to that.
Matt: The picture is the truth see *shows him the kiss pic* look at your face haha!
Mello: UGH *throws the DS towards the wall making it fall to pieces*
Matt: That was cruel!!!
Mello: NO, you're cruel for taking those photos.
Matt: You shouldn't have drugged him in the first place!!!!
Near: *pushes Mello to the bed* *hicup*
Matt: awwww sweet love~
Mello: Well excuse me for wanting to have a lil' fun in this shitty orphanage! Eww Near get off me!!
Matt: He loves you let him be!
Near: *shakes head* Nope, you're staying. *holds Mello's wrists*
Mello: Matt you're not fucking helping!! Get him off me!!
Matt: *smiles* I think it's cute, and no I don't think so, you killed my DS.
Mello: =____= I'll buy you a new one.
Near: *kisses Mello's neck*
Matt: And the new wii?
Mello:*cringes* YES YES whatever you want just get him off me!!
Matt: What about the xbox?
Mello: YES!! I said whatever!!
Matt: And I want alll your chocolate!
Near: *touches Mello's stomach*
Mello: *groans in frustration*.... FINE!!
Matt: Ok then *tries to pull Near off but cant* he's hanging on for dear life.
Mello: Just... get him off me, I don't like this.
Matt: I cant he won't budge.
Mello: Well try harder!!
Matt: We need to put something in your place your size, another human or something.....
Near: Matt *hicup* wait your turn, it's Mello's turn~
Matt: Matt?? Me my turn???!!
Near: Uhuh~ *hicup*..... after Mello's turn, I'll fuck you~ *grins all creepy*
Mello: O_O MATT HE'S CREEPING ME OUT GET HIM OFF ME!!!
Matt: Ohhh Christ *grabs him and tries to pull him off Mello* Damn it I can't.
Mello: Ok, so NOW WHAT, I'M GONNA LET HIM RAPE MEH?!
Near: It's not rape if it's willing~ *hicup*
Mello: Yeah well... I'm far away from willing!!
Matt: *grumbles* Can't believe I'm doing this... *goes in between them so he's lost grip on Mello* go go go now!!
Mello: *stares in surprise*.....You're gonna let him do stuff to you?
Near: Maaatt... *hicup* you're too impatient.
Mello: .... That weird angel/demon guilt thing is in my head now, so damn annoying.
Matt: What??? what are talking about!
Mello: Nothing! Umm... I don't know what to do!! I wouldn't let you get raped and... I sure don't wanna get some albino lovin'...*cringes again*
Matt: So then help me I helped you!!!
Near: *stops*
Near: ..... ?.... Matt, why am I on top of you?
Matt: *gets off the bed out of his arms* Ewww!
Mello: Hallelujah.... he's sobered up.
Matt: You're weird Near!!
Near: ....
Near: You didn't answer my question, why was I on top of you?
Matt: Weirder than you think!
Matt: You went all rapist mode!!!
Near: ._.
Near: I don't recall ever wanting to do that with you.
Matt: It's true!
Mello: >_> *sigh* I put vodka in your milk, there.
Near: ....
Near: So, I was heavily intoxicated, thanks to you?
Mello: Guilty as charged.
Matt: *nod*
*Awkward moment*....
Mello: I'm gonna go now.... *leaves*
Near: ._.?
Matt: Me too! *leaves*
Near: .....
Near: Hmm *slight smile* I knew they would fall for it.
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Authors note!: This is the third and FINAL part of my DN FanFic; Part two is called Teeth Marks and part one is called A kiss ... why not ... I sugget you read those before you read this unless you have already! =D
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That was fuckin briliant my friend! Perfect!